My Mother was an amazing woman. She taught me some outrageous things. Most of her one-liners were common sense but she had a wicked wit and everything really had a point.
Things my Mother said:
Believe in fairies. Goblins she wasn’t sure about.
Never buy a house that doesn’t have a fireplace.
Only drink champagne. You’ll never have a hang-over
Have many picnics and always use a tablecloth. The best picnics are moonlight picnics with plenty of champagne.
Always make your tea in a proper tea-pot. A good cup of tea solves a lot of problems. If that doesn’t work use your Visa.
Don’t wear your outdoor shoes in the house. Dirty old men spit in the street.
Younger men appreciate older woman. Older woman really appreciate younger men.
Never wear pastel lingerie only black, red or white.
Never ever think of wearing nude stockings.
It’s better to conceal than reveal.
If you got it flaunt it.
The Legs are the last to go.
Every woman looks better by candlelight. Buy lots of candles.
Black is so forgiving (advice given me on my Mother’s 90th Birthday. She wore elegant black silk suit.)
Don’t keep wire hangers in the house. They breed in closets and you’ll NEVER get rid of them.
You can never have too many pairs of red shoes. The higher the heels the better. You don’t really plan to walk in them, do you?
Never let your hair go gray.
Never ever even think of getting a tattoo.
Never refuse something someone offers to give to you. You can always find someone who needs what you don’t want.
Use only butter when making shortbread.
If you only know one dance let it be the tango.
Play the Gypsy Kings for background music. Fado music for a romantic evening.
Frogs seldom turn into princes no matter how often you kiss them.
Never buy cheap. Cheap is alway cheap. It never gets better. Good is always good even when it starts to wear.
Always have a touch of black in your room; black high heels, black stockings and so on.
Never put a hat on a table. It’s unlucky.
Have at least two unread books waiting in the wings.
Keep beer in the fridge and vodka in the freezer and champagne in a bucket of ice.
It’s difficult to make just a single pie crust recipe. Make a double and freeze the other.
Shop high but buy low.
You can never have too much art on your walls, or books in your bookcases.
Auction sales are the best places to buy furniture, jewelery, art, and meet men.
Never wear mauve. It makes your skin look yellow.
When you are stressed don’t take a pill – bake, but don’t eat it.
Old tarnished silver is better than no silver.
Sing your children to sleep.
Read your children to sleep.
Let your children have adventures.
Don’t tell your children what to do, especially as they grow older.
If you don’t say it you don’t have to take it back.
Don’t cry poor – ever.
If you spill salt, toss a pinch over your shoulder.
If you drop a knife a man is coming to the door. You may have to drop a lot of knives.
Never open an umbrella inside.
Marry for love. If you don’t and he loses his money you’ll be sorry.
If I’ve told you once I’ve told you a million times – don’t exaggerate
Be loyal to your family.
Be kind to yourself.
Believe in fairy tales.